From a contact of my friend, Katie, I was afforded an opportunity to house sit for a couple, John and Marilyn, who would be fishing in Alaska during the summer.  Marilyn who interviewed me was a daughter of friends of Katie and Duane.  The small two-bedroom house was perfect for me to be in at that time and was in a good location.  I stayed for rent-free and used food that was there.

The house was located in Greenwood, a nice neighborhood in Seattle’s north end.  It was in between two bus lines that ran frequently, north and south, and was a few blocks away both to the west and to the east.  There were also express buses that ran during peak hours.  After having a job where I was confined all day and all night, I appreciated having the freedom to come and go as I pleased without asking for permission, such as to job interviews, community events, picnics, and hikes.

Originally I was responsible for two dogs until the younger and active one escaped from the fenced yard and ran away for good.  I went all over the neighborhood looking for the dog without any luck.  I was worried since I felt responsible and concerned how the John and Marilyn would feel over the loss of their dog.  I called Marilyn’s mother and explained to her what happened.  She realized that it wasn’t my fault and told me not to be to worry.  Marilyn wrote to me from Alaska after she had heard and also told me not to worry.  She expected that the dog might jump over the fence since she was very hyper and ran and jumped all over people.  I felt better and was relieved of my guilt.

The remaining dog that I took care of was such a contrast to the other one.  She was getting old and had a thyroid deficiency that caused her skin to produce excessive oil and lowered her energy levels.  Every morning I gave her a thyroid pill in her food.  I gave her frequent showers outside with a hose for skin problems including eczema.  I didn’t mind the extra things I did for her, due to her medical condition, since I loved her so much and enjoyed her company.  Whenever I went away for overnight or the weekend, John’s parents, came to pick up the dog and brought her back when I came back.

I also took care of a long-haired male cat.  He was very friendly and jumped on the bed to lie besides me at night.  It was so good to have pets around since I was living alone without any human companionship as they helped fill in the void of being loved and accepted unconditionally regardless of my disability and place in life.

I slept in the master bedroom.  During the day after my long walks when I didn’t have any place to go, I spent time in the second bedroom, which was set up as the sewing room, drawing and sewing.  I had Bob set up my drawing table that Larry had made me when I stayed at his place.  I set up my new compact stereo I purchased with some of the money I saved from working for Elva to have music since the stereo system in the living room was too far away for me to hear.  With my new gift to myself I recorded some of John and Marilyn’s records on tapes so I could take the music with me when I moved on.

Periodically Marilyn’s mother and her youngest daughter from West Seattle called me and dropped by to check on the house to make sure everything was okay.  I always cleaned the house before they came so they would see it looking at it best.

The daughter, Joann, who had just graduated from high school, was born with one of her hands missing and had a metal claw attached to the stub on her arm to enable her to maneuver things.  Joann and I seemed to hit it off well with our mutual understanding of growing up with challenges though completely different in nature.

One evening I applied for an attendant care job for a young quadriplegic woman who lived in Shoreline.  She had been severely injured in a diving accident in a swimming pool.  Since I wanted a job I told her that I would be willing to obtain a driver’s license as long as I would be provided with a vehicle.  She liked me and hired me.  The next morning I went there for training by the attendant who was leaving.  I figured that since I was only a few miles away I could do both live-in chore services and house sit.  I thought that I could check on the Greenwood house once a day during my morning jog.

Right after the training I got together with people from WPAS for lunch out and mentioned to them about the job.  They suggested that I decline on the job offer since it would be too much to do both.  Since I already had committed myself to house sitting and couldn’t get a replacement easily with the couple being away in Alaska, I was obligated to stay in Greenwood especially with pets to care for.  I called back as soon as I got home and canceled the job offer.  I felt sorry that I needed to back out after having wasted the few hours of training.

By being in Seattle it was not only easier for me to go places by public transportation it was also easier to get rides with the Mountaineers for hiking.  I had joined that organization for outdoor recreation in August of 1981.  When I lived in White Center, even though it wasn’t far from Seattle, I had difficulty getting rides or even meeting my assigned driver to hiking trails since I was out of the way from the major freeway (Interstate 5).  I was able to go hiking twice while I lived at White Center when someone from my group just happened to live only blocks away from me and took me to meet our driver.  Another time my driver was willing to go out of the way to pick me up.

At least, when I hadn’t been able to get rides to the mountains for most of the outings I signed up for, there were evening slide shows by the Mountaineers I was able to go to.  I didn’t have any fear of walking from the bus stop alone late at night even when I had close to a mile to go such as when I stayed with Bessie and Louis.  I felt very safe in areas such as White Center and Greenwood.  As I didn’t have any money for travel and couldn’t go to many places without a car or rides, watching slides of various places in Washington State and around the world was the next best thing to visiting them.  I loved looking at pictures and seeing what different areas looked like.

While I was in Greenwood since I was located much closer to the interstate and right in Seattle I was able to get more rides to Mountaineer activities.  Unlike when I lived further away, I was able to go on most things that I signed up for.  Through out the summer of 1982 when I was twenty-five while I house sat, I went on several day hikes and a few weekend camping outings in the Cascades Mountains.

Besides weekend activities, the Mountaineers had things going during the week such as mid-week day and evening hikes and classes in folk dancing and trail safety.  Mid-week day hikes had been nice for me to do on some of my days off when I was in Woodinville.  I went on two hikes during the six weeks working for Elva.

During the summer, evening “owl hikes” worked out very well for me.  These outings included short hikes on trails relatively close to Seattle that began early in the evening and a cookout for dinner when permitted.  Often we headed back to the cars when it started to get dark and needed our flashlights–hence “owl hike.”  Often I was driven by a married older British man who lived only two miles south of me in the Phinney Ridge neighborhood in Seattle where the Woodland Park Zoo was.  He was very friendly and never wanted me to reimburse him for gas except for a long drive when he drove me for a day hike.  We went to small mountains, city and state parks, beaches on the Puget Sound, and large water falls.

Hiking was excellent for both my body and mind as it strengthened my body and calmed my mind.  Simultaneously I felt greater vitality from hiking.  Admiring the scenery and wildlife was meditative and rejuvenating to my mind.  I became even more focused whenever I came upon photo opportunities for me to take pictures of close ups and open vistas, with my new SR 35mm camera with a micro-35-70mm lens that my father had sent me money for.  Whenever I saw the beauty of nature all around me I felt myself merging and become one with it.  This had helped dissipate stress in my daily life and was very soothing.  I especially needed it when I went through more stressful times in my life.

When John and Marilyn came back from Alaska in September of 1982, I needed to move and found a room for rent.  This was a very stressful period in my life when I was faced with more uncertainties of where my life was going.  I had hoped that I would have been employed by the time the house sitting ended and I could pay rent somewhere again.  I was concerned that my temporary job in chore services might be taken as proof that I was employable and I might be denied of subsequent requests for Public Assistance for the Unemployable that I had been receiving before I worked for Elva.  A few weeks later, it was approved for a few months more.  Without a job or any government funds I wouldn’t be able to afford rent on my own.  I didn’t want to depend on my parents for rent money or my mother and Tom or Bob and Jean are forced to take me into their houses to become a burden to them if I couldn’t make money.

To make myself more marketable, in October of 1982, I attended a seminar by the Resources for the Handicapped for intensive training in caring for people in wheelchairs including those with quadriplegia.  It took included two Saturdays and a few evenings in between.  I felt that the knowledge would give me an added advantage for job prospects.

With what seemed as perfect timing a contact I had made provided me with a housing opportunity.  I met Vicki (not her real name) at a presentation on the history of woman’s labor movement.  When I told her that I drew, she asked me to design a logo for her window washing business.  When I called her about the project and mentioned to her that I needed to find a place to live, she had two rooms available in her house and rented them.  She picked me up to show me the rooms she had available.

I had a choice of two rooms, the recreation room with three of it walls in windows of the front of the house or a regular bedroom facing the back yard.  I chose the latter since it was less drafty and warmer.  I liked it that my room had hardwood floors unlike the vinyl floor in the recreation room.  It was unfurnished, but had an old dresser, so Bob and Jean loaned me one of their spare mattresses with bedding.

Vicki, who appeared to be in her fifties, apparently had neurosis that might have been related to her hypoglycemia.  She was the most demanding and particular of any of the other people I had stayed with.  She set up a crazy household chore schedule that rotated monthly.  Whoever had her turn up did all of the general household chores for the month and wouldn’t be expected to do any of them in the subsequent months until her name comes up again.  I didn’t like that system with its all or nothing approach.  I preferred that the responsibilities would be more evenly distributed.  I also felt that Vicki was too fussy about my cleaning.  Whenever I left behind a single crumb she got on my case and demanded that I wipe it up immediately.

I shared the kitchen with Vicki and her other boarder who was a nineteen-year-old woman studying nursing.  We each prepared our own meals and were provided with a shelf in the cupboard.  Vicki didn’t let anyone use her things such as dishes, pots and pans, and small appliances.  We each had to supply every thing for cooking and eating.  Luckily I already had the basics though Spartan, an old beat-up skillet from a rummage sale, a mess kit from Joann, cake and cookie pans that I bought while in White Center, glass jars to use as mugs, a place setting with one plate I had found and several plastic bowls, and a few spoons.  The young woman and I had a refrigerator and the second bathroom to us since Vicki had her own.

One thing that ticked me off the most with Vicki was when I arrived home from an evening out to find a note with my food dehydrator unplugged even where the fruit still had long way to go.  She wanted me ask her permission first to use it and didn’t want me to use it in the house.  I got angry that she turned it off without asking me.  I responded by turning it on again since she was in bed.  By the morning it was turned off.  She said that if only I would talk to her then she would let me plug it in the back yard.

I got so mad that I lost my temper and yelled and cursed at her.  I rarely lose my temper since I am generally very slow to anger.  I tend to be even tempered.  It is under rare situations that when I am under a lot of stress and at the same time being under a lot of pressure to accommodate for others that I am in danger of losing it.  It was a very stressful period of my life and I was forced to accommodate for Vicki since I was staying at her house.  It is very humiliating whenever this happens and I have a bad temper. 

To continue drying the flat of pears I had bought at a produce stand I called John and Marilyn, whom I house sat for, since they lived very close and were a straight shot by one bus, and brought the food dehydrator with pears to their place.  Luckily they were very nice and were willing to help me.

It was too bad that I didn’t realize how intrusive the device was especially with the constant humming noise by the fan going non-stop.  I was so used to using anything I wanted at any time I pleased.  Since it was Vicki’s house I should have spoken to her about using anything that was so intrusive as to be on for hours and hours up to as long as twenty-four hours.  It was shortly after this incident when I had time to think about it that I came to the realization of how imposing this was.  It was a good learning experience even with the suffering.

Until I moved into Vicki’s place, I had considered myself rather easygoing with the other people I had stayed with including, both of my parents, Bob and Gail with their spouses, and friends.  I was used to being allowed to do things my way since they never placed unreasonable demands upon me.  By the same token, I never made great demands and always let others have their ways.  I always hated to complain since it is disruptive to building peace.  It wasn’t that Vicki was a bad person–it was just that I was ill prepared to deal with her demands that I had never been confronted with by anyone else.  I had learned to become more considerate in new situations and be prepared the each person is different and could place demands that could catch me off guard.

As my stress levels climbed up from dealing with the new situation which was incompatible and the uncertainties of my future, I suffered psychosomatic disorders–digestive problems with frequent diarrhea.  Throughout my life whenever I was under greater distress than usual, I would have a much harder time digesting food.  There is definitely a strong interrelationship between the mind and the body.  It is common for individuals with autism to have weaker digestion due to greater amount of potential stress in daily living.

After living in Vicki’s place for two months, I moved out and had Bob store my belongings since I had planned to go to Maryland to spend Thanksgiving and some time thereafter with my folks.  I was feeling discouraged since I was already twenty-five years old and still haven’t been able to land a permanent job.  I thought that maybe I couldn’t make it in the Pacific Northwest and should maybe move back to Maryland so that my mother and her husband could take me under their wing when things would get tough, such as if my public assistance would stop.

Even during my darkest moments, I never wanted to leave the West Coast since I had more exploring in the area to do and I was very close to my brother.  I visited Bob and Jean almost every week with overnight stays.  Whenever either of our parents visited us, I stayed with Bob so we could all be together.

During Thanksgiving week I stayed with my mother and my Japanese stepfather, Tom, in the Rockville condominium.  It felt so good to visit family during my troubled time.  They wanted to help me as much as possible and looked into a highly rated vocational and residential program, the Community Services for Autistic Adults and Children.  The main problem was that with high demand and not enough openings the waiting list to get in was very long.  I had agreed to check things out if my mother and sister did the searching.  That didn’t mean that I was obligated to stay in Maryland for good.

For several weeks in December of 1982, I went to stay with Gail and the girls in the attic apartment in Brookline, Massachusetts.  That location was in an affluent area with a highly rated school district, close to downtown Boston.  Almost everyday I walked through different streets that I hadn’t been to before to see something new.

To keep myself busy while I was there, I did embroidery, drawings, and reading.  The drawings I worked on were on special paper with colored marking pens that were included in a kit that Gail purchased and were sent back the completed drawings to the company to be made into plastic plates.  I drew still-lives and abstract designs.

As I looked through the selection of Gail’s books, I came upon nutrition books that I was very interested in–Let’s Eat Right by Adele Davis and a paperback guide to fasting.  I felt a need to gain more knowledge about nutrition and diet to apply to better health.  The low purine diet that I had tried for over two years didn’t work out too well for me.  It was too restrictive especially limited in the protein sources.  Since basically the only high protein foods that were allowed were dairy products and eggs, I consumed large quantities of these foods that could do more harm than good.  After experimenting with that diet for over two years, I had evaluated the effects and I didn’t notice improved health that was the main thing that I was striving for.

Actually several months earlier during the summer of 1982 while I was house sitting, I began to suspect that dairy products were culprits to some of my health concerns, such as food sensitivities that caused sinus and digestive weaknesses and had cut back on them.  After one week of eliminating dairy and substituting nutritional yeast in hot cereal, my environmental sensitivities, such as to weed pollen and the cat I took care of, were almost all gone.  I barely felt any congestion.

As I looked back on the previous two years since the fall of 1980, I noticed that my sinus and throat congestion that I attributed to environmental factors had gotten worse with increased consumption of dairy products.  In spring of 1981 while I was staying with Katie and Duane, a young woman who worked with their son on several weekends and was a strict vegetarian told me how dairy products could cause excess production of mucus in the body that could lead to allergies and sensitivities.  Even though things made sense to me and I wanted to believe her, I was afraid to eliminate them from my diet and to impose a greater restriction.  I was concerned with further protein limitations that I might not get enough, though I cheated occasionally and had whole wheat breads, tofu (soy), and a little bit of fish.  I wanted to try one diet at a time for a while so I could more effectively evaluate the effects.

When I had read several magazine articles about food sensitivities which attributed an array of health problems due to foods with dairy and wheat listed as the most common offenders, I began to suspect that perhaps I had been reacting to foods without my awareness throughout my life which might had affected my brain to manifest autistic symptoms and my digestive system.

Perhaps I had gained an explanation for my early childhood concerns, such as frequent vomiting with low body weight and a learning difference.  For example, as an infant, I was nicknamed “cheese factory”–based on vomiting frequently, and it resembled cheese curds.  I had problems with digestion.  I had difficulty of keeping food in.  I was skinny throughout my infancy–I never did fill out like healthy babies should.  I suspected that I was highly sensitive to cow’s milk as I was bottle-fed and it was considered good food for babies.  I learned that dairy is not good for many people for various reasons–food sensitivities, allergies, and lactose intolerance.  I did better without it.

In addition to finding food sensitivities, I had increased the use of garlic in foods for the health benefits that were touted by nutrition books.  During the early eighties I had consumed about one to two gloves of garlic in salads and beans everyday.  Besides the health benefits for the circulatory and immune systems, I had always loved the flavor of it.  The problem was that I had consumed so much of it as to cause me to smell strongly of garlic that was socially repulsive in the United States.  It was when I visited my family in the fall of 1982 when my sister had pointed out my strong odor that I began to greatly reduce the consumption of garlic to eliminate the smell and make myself more acceptable to the American society.  I also included dark green leafy vegetables whenever I used garlic to help counteract the odor.

When I read about the link between stress and vitamins–particularly B-vitamin complex and vitamin C–in Let’s Eat Right, I became convinced that treating high blood uric acid level, which could be stress related with a highly restrictive low purine diet was not the answer, at least for me.  It was an example of treating the symptoms rather than getting to the root cause of the problem.  Perhaps my high stress levels could be the result of vitamin deficiencies.  Some individuals, especially those under greater amount of stress, tend to burn up greater amounts of certain vitamins–vitamins B and C.  So in hope of lowering my stress levels more effectively, I began taking mega-doses of these vitamins along with high potency multiple vitamin and mineral pills.  With this program I felt ready to leave behind my experimental diet and increased my consumption of beans, whole wheat, and added back some meat but not nearly as much as I had used before the eighties.  I still preferred to eat vegetarian whenever I was home.

After my visit with Gail and the girls, I stopped in Pennsylvania to see my father on the way back to Maryland by train.  I had decided that I wanted to give Seattle another chance for at least a few more years.  I had stayed in the East Coast for two month in all, the maximum time away that my return airline ticket allowed.

Since leaving my mother’s nest and living on my own I had become more matured as I was forced to deal with the adult world myself.  To fulfill my needs–economic and social–I needed to interact with others in the community.  I no longer wanted to live in isolation as I did during my adolescence.  I was afforded opportunities in social development by participation in various activities–volunteer work, parties, and hiking–where I mingled with others, besides enjoying the recreation.  I learned to take the initiatives to go places to enrich my life and to learn more about the world and people.

“If any of you lack wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.  But, when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.”—James 1:5-